Forget About Fangs, ‘Twilight 2’ Is All About the Abs

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twilightabs.jpgThe line snaked around the lobby, out the door and around the corner of the theater. Music blared from competing radio stations booths.

There were still two hours to go before the advance screening for The Twilight Saga: New Moon started in Denver.

I knew it was going to be a interesting night, as much because of the people who surrounded me as the film itself. And I was not disappointed, at least not in that respect. The cheering started the moment Summit Entertainment’s logo appeared on the screen. And it was quickly replaced with screeching when Robert Pattinson, otherwise known as the vampire Edward Cullen, loped across the school parking lot to give Bella her morning kiss. He loped in slow motion, by the way, as adoring music marked the timing of his light footsteps on pavement that seemed somehow unworthy of carrying his precious weight. He loped the way you see drop-dead gorgeous girls lope down school hallways in flirtatious flicks like Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and I Love You, Beth Cooper.

I had thought I was in for a moody ride through Bella’s broken heartedness (it’s in the second book that Edward leaves her—for her own good, of course), but I quickly realized that such emotional plot points were only going to serve as a backdrop for New Moon’s real business—getting the girls to go googly over guys’ great pecs and abs. Before it was over I’d lost count of the number of times Edward and rival Jacob had stripped off their shirts. But I don’t think the rest of the audience had. They were turning the exhibition into something of a contest to decide who was hotter. Team Edward! Team Jacob! Loudest screamers win.

Who wrote this?

Steven Isaac served as editor for Plugged In’s NRB- and EPA-award-winning website for more than a decade, orchestrating, managing, scheduling, shaping and tweaking at least 750 reviews and articles annually. He’s a husband and a father of a teenager.


Have something to say? Leave a comment.

Anonymous More than 1 year ago

Comment by  bernie:

Hi there. I think the reviews of both Twilight series movies missed a great opportunity to help give our youth some guidance on making strong moral choices. For example, our souls are important to God (Matthew 16:26), which make Bella's choice to throw away her soul in favor of the moment a tragic and dangerous decision for others to follow. Another example is the glorification of the powers of the Cullens and their kinfolk, something God hates terribly (Deuteronomy 18:9-13). Our culture is filled with an obsession for power and lust, two avenues that are incompatible with Christian values. As a parent of two teen girls I cringe at reading reading anything "positive" about this series. Thanks for listening.  Regards, Bernie.

Anonymous More than 1 year ago

Comment by  Nica06:

Hi Steven. I just wanted to note two things left out of your New Moon review. It is understandable with all of the insane Twilight hype that things might have slipped through the cracks. But, when reading up and watching for negative elements, there are two things that prospective viewers (and parents) might like to know about:

1) When the audience meets Emily, the scars on her face are revealed. She got that from her fiance, and when I read it in the book, I didn't think it alluded to anything she did; she just was standing too close. But, it seems to imply something else altogether when Jacob recaps the story to Bella and asks, "What if I got mad at you?"

2) The tourists going underground to be devoured by the Volturi is by no means pleasant. But, yet another thing I don't recall reading in the book (not to mention something that I REALLY did not appreciate seeing) is the fact that there were children in that line, holding their parents' hands while they skipped and hopped to meet their end.

Thank you for listening! Hope I helped. :->

Veronica

Anonymous More than 1 year ago

Comment by  lupinskitten:

Back when the first Twilight book came out, I read and enjoyed it, but over the years since I have grown more jaded about it -- and in large part, that is due to the fan overreaction from females. There is something creepy about older and often married women gushing about how much they love Edward, an eternal seventeen year old. The screaming, flailing, whooping, hooting, giggling, shrieking, fainting, and even asking the male cast members to sign their underwear (yes, that actually happened -- another thing that actually happened recently was a girl asking Robert Pattinson how she could get his attention; he laughed and remarked, "Take off your clothes," and she started stripping right there in the center of a poster signing!) reminds me of the worst days of the 60's, when girls were stereotyped as mindless media junkies and fainting en masse over Elvis shaking his hips.

I might like Twilight more if it were not represented by in large by a fan base that offends me with its mass hysteria. There are sensible fans, yes, but they are, at least in my experience, few and far between. So the entire series has left a bad taste in my mouth. It has brought out in women what I dislike most in sexist men -- the objectification of other human beings.