So, would this count as a non-endorsement deal?
Abercrombie & Fitch, the youth clothing marketeer, has apparently offered Mike “The Situation” Sorriento of MTV’s Jersey Shore a boatload of cash. And all The Situation (or any other Shore cast member) has to do is stop wearing A&F clothes.
“We are deeply concerned that Mr. Sorriento’s association with our brand could cause significant damage to our image,” A&F officials said in a press release.
Let’s set aside the fact that Abercrombie & Fitch hasn’t been exactly a paragon of virtue (as you can see here and here and here). Let’s excuse the fact that the retailer sells (as noted by Sitch’s castmate Pauly D) shirts branded with the letters “GTL,” which stands for the hallowed Jersey Shore mantra of “gym, tan, laundry.” Let’s also overlook that Abercrombie & Fitch stock sank like a rock shortly after issuing the release (though that says more about the brand’s sluggish sales than Wall Street’s hearty endorsement of The Sitch).
I just want to know how I can get in on the action.
I have never worn a stitch of A&F clothes—beyond any moral objectives I may have about the brand, I’d know I’d need to take out a home equity loan to buy a pair of jeans there. And even if I did come across some extra cash, I don’t think they’d let me buy anything. The twentysomething cashiers would take one look at me and gently usher me out, pointing out the JCPenney’s store past the escalators.
I would almost certainly hurt A&F’s image if I started wearing said clothes. Can I get some cash to not wear them, too?
Come to think of it, there are a lot of things I don’t wear or eat or use or drive, and the makers of such goods really should thank me for that. I don’t shop at Whole Foods, but if I did, regular Whole Food shoppers would point at me and say, “This is what healthy eating gets you?” and run to buy Cool Ranch Doritos at the nearest Quikmart. I don’t drive a BMW, and those German carmakers should be eternally grateful.
We live in a very brand-conscious society where many of us define ourselves by what we buy. We even separate ourselves into camps based on our brands of choice: A&F or American Eagle Outfitters? Apple or PC? Coke or Pepsi? Ford or Chevy? And those who build the brands we buy work very hard to target them to certain audiences—the hip or the young or the wealthy. I am none of the above, and thus I am brand poison. If I drank a Pepsi (“the choice of a new generation”) out in front of Pepsi headquarters, I’m pretty sure a PR flack would run outside and knock the can away from me. “You’re not part of a new generation!” he’d tell me, shaking his head.
Which means that, if these corporations don’t want me to damage their reps, they’re going to have to pony up. I will be more than happy to forgo using your products for a small, very reasonable fee. Thanks for your non-support.
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